Some of my friends slept over on Friday and we had a lot of fun..then Saturday was the harvest parttyy! that was also funnnnnnn :) but Saturday night? everything went wrong, my sister was wicked upset about something and i found something out that made me want to fall into pieces..oh yeah of course it was about a boy, a stupid one that i can't just stop talking to because hes just too freaking lovable, and he was the one that i liked more then any boy eveerrrr, but i think i just stopped liking him last night, because i just couldn't stand what happened..and we would def. be better off as me liking him as a friend.
Oh and today i decided i liked some one new, but i'm not telling one person about this, except Megan of course.
My self image is going down, and its hard for me to look in the mirror now, because i just can't stand myself..i seem to make so many mistakes and do everything wrong that its getting ridiculous, Why did i end up this way? Mount Zions not working out for me either, home works over whelming, i'm getting f's on everything already, and plus i have learning disabilities that no one there knows about..great, i just seem so stupid compared to everybody else..then the teacher has to pick on me for every answer. i'm too slow to go to such a smart school where everybody is good at some subject, but all i can pass is Spanish and Arts, which are the easiest classes to pass. I keep asking myself, Why did God put me in this world? i'm not good at anything, no one likes me and all i'm good for is people getting mad at me for all the mistakes i make..seriously why? I also need to stop my habbit of talking back to teachers, its not good and i was so bad at it last year..but i just can't do that at a christian privet school.
My dads getting more annoying by the second, whenever he talks to me now, i just want to punch him in the face. He has an issue with being all up in my moms business, and he needs to stop, hes not married to her anymore, he doesn't need to know everything about her private life or know every time we talk to her..grrr.
Who else i want to punch in the face? All the 7th graders i have classes with except Joey and Josh, they're chill..i completely hate 7th graders, AHHH!
My addiction? lets talk about that..when ever i mess up all i want to do is that, but its so freaking bad and i do it so often..i need to stop this! I don't like the title "emo" but no thats not what i am.Gahh, i have so many freaking problems its not even funny, like right now, i just want to drag a razor across my wrist and watch myself bleed, because it makes me feel better, i can't lie.
Well anyway i have a love like no other with gummy bears, and a song called kryptonite by 3 doors down. I also love the song something by escape the fate, and i'm learning it on the drums soon! but other then that LIFE SUCKS.
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